#6: very, very, very nostalgic: when steven universe hugs himself
Trust and hope and self love, but actually.
welcome to no one asked for this, a newsletter of stories that are sometimes true. here, we will talk about pop culture and queerness and lavender lattes, which not enough people are currently drinking. welcome.
I often wonder what’s wrong with me, as for years I have recalled like a memory and a moment of my own: when Steven Universe hugs himself at the end of a 44 minute episode in the 5th season and at first the him who hugs himself is smiling and at first the him he hugs is not smiling and then they turn, their bodies fluid as if liquid not shaken or stirred but poured with grace into a fragile cup, and the him who hugs himself has these glowing red eyes, exhausted, maybe even nearly gone, maybe even nearly dead, maybe even nearly done, but staring with so much love into the eyes of the him he hugs, and the him he hugs is hesitant—he isn’t smiling but he isn’t glaring either, his face no longer blank, he looks as if shocked or simply confused, incapable of understanding why he holds himself, why he lets himself be placed so gently in his own arms, but there is so much trust and so much hope in the eyes of the him that he holds—but what can be wrong, when there is so much trust and so much hope? When Steven Universe hugs himself, he laughs not like greeting an old friend but like seeing, fully, for the first time the him that he refused to see because it is just so hard to look at yourself and to grin large and to let eyes crinkle and let brows fall soft and, most of all, most difficult to reach back, most difficult to accept that, sometimes, the hands that hold you the tightest and the eyes that light up when they see you simply are, and have to be, your own.
+++++++++++
similarly
Here’s the video of Steven hugging himself but like, maybe don’t watch until you watch the whole series or else you won’t FEEL IT
Nicole Clarke wrote about the healing power of Steven Universe for the NYT
I wrote about Steven Universe’s willingness to engage with mental health alongside Marina Watanabe for Bitch
etc.
I liked this: “At 14, I Worked in a Sweatshop. Here’s What I Think of Fashion Week.” Soreyda Benedit-Begley in Zora
I’m reading these: Girl in Translation by Jenny Kwok + My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout (a ton of Twilight fanfiction if we’re being honest)
I bought this: Target sells Milk Bar cookies now (go thrive)
a baby steven
i exist here, and across the internet, as @rachelcharlenel, always. (because there is no leaving the internet, so we might as well exchange memes and scream together.)